im just aint good...
Wednesday, May 24, 2006 posted at Wednesday, May 24, 2006
[240506]
dear bloggy.
back to blog again.
quite alot has been up on my mind..
lols,thinks theres no need fo me to type it out..
sighx..why cant i just let everything go..
why cant i just give up on everything..
its been like this since last time..
im just aint giving up on things..
that are precious to me..
the Jasmine thingies...
frenzof6...
U.N.P...
MrandMs-...
m3m0ri3s...
everything....
i just cant give them up...
just like some of you say...
i need to ''na de qi..fan de xia..''
but im cant...i cant do it..
maybe u will call me stupid or wadever..
haax,but maybe tats my character...
i cant give up on things..
and i cant forget things easily...
up till now...
i still remember every single things tat happened to me before..
haix...just carrying everything behide my back..
the load just seems to be getting more and more heavy..
i really wanted to end all this..
but i cant..
i cant give up on my own life either...
im not good at giving up..
i must carry on to live...
for my friends..family..and others..
as well as continue to suffer...
for those things that i cant give up on...
haix..no one can understand this life of mine..
lols...
people keep saying that im cheerful..
and will felt calm when see me..
cause i got a smile on my face everytime..
but wad do they know..
the reality behide the fake smile..
tat i wore on my freaking face..
those people tat said tat to me...
know nothing...about me...
haix...
maybe i more than wad some of you can understand...
no one had truly understand me before...
neither do you...simin...
nor you..my *friend*..
not even my own parents...
im always keep things to myself..
just when i thought i had finally find someone i can trust...
and believe in me...
everything just disappear..just like a jolt and awake from a dream..
thats when i realise...
how cold this world can be..
how oddly i stand out from the others..
when im watching naruto...
upon seeing on naruto and gara life...
i realise how much their life are so similar to mine..
the only fact that im better than them..
is the fact tat i had a home...
i had some friends..
but it doesnt seems any better...
kinda sickening..
though im in despair...
but...
if anyone need someone to talk to..
im always available..
no matter wad happened..im just right behide your shoulder..
just a phone call away..
i wont let anything tat happened...
to restrict..
my friendship...or my relationship...
-teh xtremist-
